Yes Means Yes by Friedman

Yes Means Yes by Friedman


Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Perseus

If you want to read more about SEXUAL HEALING, try:• A Woman’s Worth BY JAVACIA N. HARRIS

• A Love Letter from an Anti-Rape Activist to Her Feminist Sex-Toy Store BY LEE JACOBS RIGGS

• In Defense of Going Wild or: How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Pleasure (and How You Can, Too) BY JACLYN FRIEDMAN


An Immodest Proposal


RIGHT NOW, JUST DOWN THE STREET from you, two teenagers are having sex for the first time, and it’s exactly as we wish that first experience to be.

Our ingenue loves her boyfriend of over a year, and he’s always made her feel good about herself. He’s a good guy; he cares about her and demonstrates that care in actions as well as in words. Her parents like him, though they were initially concerned this was too serious a relationship. They felt better as they watched him encourage her to apply for the colleges she had the most interest in, even though some of them would have meant a separation, or some big compromises on his end. They’re not thrilled about the two of them having a sexual relationship, but they’re realistic in their understanding that young people usually become sexual at some point, and if their daughter is going to be, they feel comforted it will be with a boy who loves her. They haven’t ever discussed this directly with her, but they haven’t said they were opposed, either.

He’s never forced or pressured her into anything. He has often made his sexual interest clear as the relationship has developed—he’s a normal teenage boy, after all—but has been equally clear that he doesn’t want to push her into something he wants but she isn’t ready for, and is happy to wait for her when it comes to any given sexual activity. After the first time he kissed her, they had the extended makeout sessions on the couch, the furtive first touches that he initiated but she allowed and often even enjoyed. Even when she was nervous at first, she’d always end up feeling closer to him. Once they’d been together long enough for her to feel more secure, they tried some fingering for her, some hand jobs and blow jobs for him. He usually asked before putting his hands inside her pants or shirt—and she was wary, but agreed—and he usually asked if she’d provide him with oral or manual sex. When he wasn’t asking outright, it was because he’d either move his hands inside her pants—looking at her face to be sure she wasn’t saying no—or move her hands to his pants, gesturing with his head that oral sex for him would be nice, hoping she knew him well enough to know she didn’t have to do it. The times she declined any of this, or looked like it wasn’t really okay, he backed off without argument and held her afterward so she knew he wasn’t angry.

With any of this, he usually reaches orgasm, and while she doesn’t, what he does sometimes feels good.


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