Finding My Forever by Heidi McLaughlin

Finding My Forever by Heidi McLaughlin

Author:Heidi McLaughlin [McLaughlin, Heidi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2013-12-29T23:00:00+00:00


I lean my head back on the headrest and turn my face toward the window. The afternoon sun shines through the window warming my face. My hand rests in Jimmy’s lap, our fingers locked together. His finger taps in beat with the song on the radio against the top of my hand. If this were weeks ago, I’d be looking at him and imagining what our child will look like; but it’s not and as much as I want to trust what he says, I can’t get over the suspicion that something is off.

I know I’m a fool for getting into the car with him. I caved when he turned on his British charm and wooed me into believing that everything is okay. He didn’t say I was overreacting though or that my hormones are getting me riled up and that concerns me. I’ve never been the jealous type. With Damien, my friends never let on that they were attracted to him or desired him in any way, but Jimmy? With him I know. I see the way other women look at him. The way they throw themselves at him expecting – and at some point – receiving attention in return. Is he going to be like that when he goes on stage the next time? Will he touch their faces, caressing them like he does me?

It can’t be easy changing who you are in the blink of an eye and that is what he did or should’ve done. I wasn’t kidding when I took my vows and I hope to God he wasn’t either. We may not be in love, but I want us to at least be faithful.

My lips curve into a smile when I feel his hand caress my stomach. My shirt lifts and his lips are there. Jimmy places kisses along my growing belly from one side to the other whispering words only the baby can hear. My fingers thread though his hair, my nails scraping softly along his scalp. In our short time together, I’ve learned that he loves this and that it turns him on.

My eyes remain shut. I feel like I’m dreaming and that when I wake up everything will be ugly again. Damien will be standing outside my window with the murderous look on his face, and next to Jimmy will be hoards of women claiming to be his mistresses. Keeping my eyes shut and my face toward the window is the best option for me right now. I want to relish in the attention he’s giving me before it goes away. Before my bubble is burst and some skinny girl shows up in Beaumont telling me that she’s been sleeping with my husband.

When his lips find mine, I close my eyes tighter and submit to him. He controls me, drives me to the brink with just the simplest of kisses. I wish my body would fight him, ward him off, but it craves him. My body desires his touch and it has since we first met a year ago when he came to Beaumont.



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