By a thread by L A Witt

By a thread by L A Witt

Author:L A Witt [Dewitt, Nancy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780615481456
Amazon: 0615481450
Publisher: Fountainhead Antique Auto Museum
Published: 2011-02-07T11:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

I can't believe it's already June. The last days of spring burned like late summer, and May-hottest May on record--flew by, and the beginning of June crept right up out of nowhere.

It's been two months since we've touched in any sexual way. The burns on my back have healed. Now that the blisters aren't there to remind me what happens when we get carried away, it's easy to forget why we're keeping each other at arm's length.

Easy for me, anyway. Andrew doesn't let his guard down. Not even once. Even when we exchange a look, he always has that wall up. That reluctant, chilly divider. The frustration is there in his eyes, but he doesn't cross any lines, and I don't try to cross them myself. No sense pushing him and making this worse, or turning it into a source of arguing and teeth-gnashing.

But what the hell do we do about it? If there's anything more frustrating than wanting someone who doesn't want you back, it's wanting someone who feels the same way, but not being able to touch. Like a long distance relationship, except we're together almost every day. Whenever we can be, we're together, and I love his company as much as I hate this frustrating physical distance. Week after week, I want him more and more, and that emotional connection just keeps getting deeper as the need for his touch keeps threatening to drive me insane. I'm getting closer to him and farther from him at the same time. Like every time that connection deepens, the physical chasm widens because he's still out of my reach.

That's not to say we don't touch at all. We spend more nights together than not, fully-clothed with his head on my shoulder or my arm over his waist. When we're out together, his hand is never far from mine. And never in my life has exchanging a brief, chaste kiss turned me on as much as it does with Andrew. It's all we have, all we can get, and I swear I live for those kisses now just like I live for the maddening nights of torturing myself by holding the man I can't make love to.

This has gone beyond forbidden fruit and wanting what I can't have. It's like we're on track for the relationship I've been looking for my entire adult life, and there's this one step holding us back. Keeping us apart. Sex isn't the deal-breaker, it isn't the end-all be-all of being with someone, but the more I find myself falling for Andrew--and oh God, yes, I'm falling for him hard--the harder it is to imagine not taking that coveted intimate step with him. I'd never leave him over this, but I'm not so sure he believes that.

"It's bothering you, isn't it?" he asks one evening.

I glance at him, brow furrowed. "Hmm?"

Andrew sighs. "You know what I mean."

I do. Of course I do. The subject that doesn't even need to be directly addressed, because it's always right there in the forefront of my mind.


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